Is Joel having a nervous breakdown?

Is it just me, or has Joel changed his appearance as of late? I think he might be headed for a nervous breakdown. Let me explain... Joel's teeth are no longer the shiney bright white they once were. In fact, there have been noticeable attempts on camera to avoid close up shots. Rumor has it, Joel fired his dentist and has yet to find a replacement. Meanwhile, his signature smile has been compromised leaving sales of his much acclaimed toothpaste in the doldrums. In addition to that oddity, Joel has had an unusual number of crying spells during his sermons. The profuse tears are more than just the, "I'm so happy I'm blessed.." kind, they are more of the "I'm losing it!" kind.

Some theorize the undue stress and pressure of being on the road to promote his new book could be causing it. Others believe it has something to do with the Worship team at Lakewood Church. Team members are up in arms over one very sensitive issue: The hydraulic platform dissappears during Joel's sermons leaving them off camera and out of the picture. Some have also complained of motion sickness from the up and down roller coaster like movement, while others have experienced a mild case of 'spiritual anxiety' due to their dimissal before Joel's sermon. A spokesperson for Joel issued a statement detailing steps that were underway to resolve the conflict. Unfortunately, some have taken to extreme measures to express their dissappointment. Instead of the standard arm waving and hand clapping, some have resorted to more subtle tactics when singing gospel songs. Team members now express their disgust with hands plastered downward and little or no facial expression.

Sadly Joel feels powerless to change the situation and has hired a conflict managment team to deal with the crisis. And we all know that conflict managment is just another way of saying 'sin management' especially when you're dealing with a Church worship team. No wonder Joel is about to crack! Speaking of cracks, have noticed the cracks, crevices and crease's in Joel's face recently? Either the make-up artist got fired too, or someone in the powder room doesn't know what the heck they're doing. When you go on camera in front of Millions of people, it takes more than just a little bit of make-up to create the Joel Osteen look, it takes a lot! In fact, some have suggested that Joel wears just as much make-up as his wife Victoria. Just look at what a good make-up artist can do with someone like CNN's Larry King? Larry is how old now? 100 yrs maybe? During a recent interview, Joel & Larry almost looked like brothers. Now that can only be explainable two ways, either Joel was late for the interview and didn't get enough powder, or the make-up case blew up on Larry King. We'll leave it up to you to decide which.

Nevertheless, I happen to believe Joel's undue stress has something to do with all of the above. I mean let's face it, a person can only take so much. The worship team crisis, the dental situation, along with numerous cosmetic malfunctions. It won't be long before Joel blows the top off the compaq center with his temper. Mark my words, Joel is headed for a breakdown. The only thing holding him together is the occasional injection of botox administerd by his brother Paul, a Medical Doctor. Make no mistake, botox only goes so far, maybe plastic surgery would be a better option. In any event, I predict Joel's breakdown, will produce another best selling book cementing Joel's household name status while boosting sales of his toothpaste to unprecedented levels.