Christmas Crashers

Do you remember the movie, "Wedding Crashers" from a couple of years ago? It was a big hit. And didn't they do a reality show by the same name? The definition of a 'crasher' is someone who attends an event as an uninvited guest. So I was just wondering if it was possible to have a Christmas Crasher? Maybe not the ones your thinking of. Yeah, there were definately some Christmas crashers around on the first Christmas. Like maybe... Herod, he sort of tried to crash the party I guess you could say...But then there were other things that got in the way. Like busyness, materialism, politics, etc. All the same things we struggle with today. (Don't worry we're keeping politics out of the discussion this time!)

Have you ever had an uninvited guest show up for Christmas? Like a relative that you haven't spoken to, or how about your old friend depression? Neither ask to come, they just show up when you least expect it. And surprise, they crash the party!

Maybe I'm not alone in this, but it sure seems that Christmas is an opportune time for our spiritual enemy to show up...uninvited! You see, the ultimate Christmas crasher is the devil. And in case you're wondering, I still believe there is a devil and that he wants to crash everyones party! Yeah, we have a spiritual enemy that shows up uninvited from time to time. And that's why we have to make sure that we officially univite him when he arrives. Yup, that's what we need to do. Open the door up and kick his freaking butt out in the cold where he belongs. In other words, don't let the devil pull a fast one on you this year. He'll come when you least expect it and steal the presents right out from under the Christmas Tree. And he'll do it right under your big fat nose! That's why you need to get aggressive and send him back to hell where he belongs. Because let's face it, there is nothing worse than a Holiday that gets poo hooed by an uninvited guest.

From the bottom of my heart, I want to wish each one of you a very Merry "Plunge Faith" Christmas. But I want to challenge you to recognize the battle we are in and limit your celebrations to invited guests only!!!

O.K. you faithful bloggers get your backs off the wall and dance!

Is Joel having a nervous breakdown?

Is it just me, or has Joel changed his appearance as of late? I think he might be headed for a nervous breakdown. Let me explain... Joel's teeth are no longer the shiney bright white they once were. In fact, there have been noticeable attempts on camera to avoid close up shots. Rumor has it, Joel fired his dentist and has yet to find a replacement. Meanwhile, his signature smile has been compromised leaving sales of his much acclaimed toothpaste in the doldrums. In addition to that oddity, Joel has had an unusual number of crying spells during his sermons. The profuse tears are more than just the, "I'm so happy I'm blessed.." kind, they are more of the "I'm losing it!" kind.

Some theorize the undue stress and pressure of being on the road to promote his new book could be causing it. Others believe it has something to do with the Worship team at Lakewood Church. Team members are up in arms over one very sensitive issue: The hydraulic platform dissappears during Joel's sermons leaving them off camera and out of the picture. Some have also complained of motion sickness from the up and down roller coaster like movement, while others have experienced a mild case of 'spiritual anxiety' due to their dimissal before Joel's sermon. A spokesperson for Joel issued a statement detailing steps that were underway to resolve the conflict. Unfortunately, some have taken to extreme measures to express their dissappointment. Instead of the standard arm waving and hand clapping, some have resorted to more subtle tactics when singing gospel songs. Team members now express their disgust with hands plastered downward and little or no facial expression.

Sadly Joel feels powerless to change the situation and has hired a conflict managment team to deal with the crisis. And we all know that conflict managment is just another way of saying 'sin management' especially when you're dealing with a Church worship team. No wonder Joel is about to crack! Speaking of cracks, have noticed the cracks, crevices and crease's in Joel's face recently? Either the make-up artist got fired too, or someone in the powder room doesn't know what the heck they're doing. When you go on camera in front of Millions of people, it takes more than just a little bit of make-up to create the Joel Osteen look, it takes a lot! In fact, some have suggested that Joel wears just as much make-up as his wife Victoria. Just look at what a good make-up artist can do with someone like CNN's Larry King? Larry is how old now? 100 yrs maybe? During a recent interview, Joel & Larry almost looked like brothers. Now that can only be explainable two ways, either Joel was late for the interview and didn't get enough powder, or the make-up case blew up on Larry King. We'll leave it up to you to decide which.

Nevertheless, I happen to believe Joel's undue stress has something to do with all of the above. I mean let's face it, a person can only take so much. The worship team crisis, the dental situation, along with numerous cosmetic malfunctions. It won't be long before Joel blows the top off the compaq center with his temper. Mark my words, Joel is headed for a breakdown. The only thing holding him together is the occasional injection of botox administerd by his brother Paul, a Medical Doctor. Make no mistake, botox only goes so far, maybe plastic surgery would be a better option. In any event, I predict Joel's breakdown, will produce another best selling book cementing Joel's household name status while boosting sales of his toothpaste to unprecedented levels.

The Propserity Pulpit

Breaking News: I wrote this entry last month and just yesterday Senator Chuck Grassely of Iowa announced that his senate office has received numerous complaints against Televangelists. As a result, he has decided to launch a probe. Now the government gets involved in how not for profits spend their money. This is a sad day for the Church. Read my article and pray that God will have mercy on us.
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In recent months, a number of scandals have rocked the Christian Church. Where shall I begin? In August it was Juanity Bynum and Bishop William Weeks. Apparently, the couples Million dollar wedding a few years ago wasn't enough to keep them together. After an argument in an Atlanta resturant, Weeks assaulted his estranged wife. He was arrested and jailed until bail was posted. A few weeks later Bynum announced a divorce was immanent. More recently, Randy and Paula White, founding Pastors of Without Walls International Church, announced they were getting a divorce too. Apparently, Paula White's success as an author, speaker was too much for their marriage. Or was it the private jets, jewlery and million dollar homes? I heard it said once, that the love of money is the root of all evil. I don't know if that's true or not, but it seems to fit. Then just this last week, Richard and Lindsay Roberts were slapped with a scandalous lawsuit alleging that they milked the Christian University where they serve of tens of thousands of dollars. At this point, they are denying everything. But its kind of hard to explain away shopping trips to the tune of $54,000.

It's no secret that the televangelism is big business. Especially for those annointed prosperity preachers. They drive luxury cars, wear huge diamonds and flash rolex watches-all in the name of God. Have you ever wondered who pays for this? Where does the money come from? I'll give you a clue: look in the mirror! Yeah, you. Well maybe not you personally, but a lot of people just like you pay for this lavish lifestyle. It's the people in the pew who fund these growing enterprises. When we buy CDs, Books, DVD's, and other merchandise we support profitable business ventures that translate into big stipends for the people who produce them. Let me give you an example, Benny Hinn owns a home in Malibu, drives an $80,000 SUV and owns a private jet with two full-time pilots to fly it. Not to mention an entourage of body guards, assistants and other ministry personel who see to it that Hinn doesn't suffer any inconvenience.

This is why everytime I turn on the Big Hair Channel, (TBN) I want to throw up. To be perfectly honest, I'm sick and tired of the prosperity gospel. Don't tell me that God wants me to rich when the Jesus I serve didn't have a dime. I'm sorry, but even if I did have money, I wouldn't spend it on sprawling ranches and rolex watches. This is why the Church of Jesus Christ has such a poor reputation. We are too materialistic. We're spending too much money on ourselves. And then someone like Bono comes along with a great idea to help poor people in Africa with AIDS. And where has the Church been? Asleep.

I want to challenge you to completely renounce the pursuit of earthly riches. I don't see that it has ever gotten us anywhere. In fact, the more we possess in the way of material things, the less we care about those who are suffering. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against possessing a few nice things. But at what point do those things possess us? At what point do we quit caring?

Anyway, now that I've blown off some steam. It's your turn to chime in. Go for it...

Defining Hillary

Excuse me for saying it, but Hillary Clinton kind of reminds me of a Veternarian. I would expect to see her in the clinic treating doggey ailments or performing surgery on a pussy cat. I don't mean this in a bad way, so don't take it as such. But I definately see Hillary as a take charge person who can get things done. She's a great communicator, maybe a little bit insensitive at times, but very effective at getting her point across. This could be really helpful when dealing with poorly trained pets.... I think she would also look good with a white lab coat on and a stethescope around her neck. You see, she fits the role perfect. She's loves health care and could do wonders for our pets. The only problem: She wouldn't be long in the profession before proposing a nationalized health care program for pets! You see, with Hillary, everything comes back to something the government can do. Which is not altogether bad, I actually support the government doing it's part. But somehow with Hillary it's never enough...

At the risk of sounding political, I'd like to challenge your thinking a bit. Societial problems are deeply rooted in the selfishness of humankind. Rick Warren describes it this way, "We live in a “me first,” serve-yourself world that says it’s all about you. Commercial slogans cater to this viewpoint. Slogans like, “have it your way,” “we do it all for you,” “obey your thirst,” “you’ve got to think of what’s best for yourself,” and “You deserve it.” There is no end to the selfish demands of humankind.

In some ways, it's easy for politicians to play into that and promise more than they can deliver. For that reason, a nationalized health care is easy to sell because it's free and it affects each one of our lives. But in reality, is this what we really want? Hillary seems to think so. And so does Edwards, Obama, and Richardson. All candidates for President.

I guess what I want you think about is this: Where do we get this notion that the government exist to meet my needs? Why do we think this way?

Now I know this is going to shock some of you, but I'd like to take it a step further. Where do we get this notion that the Church exist to meet my needs? Why do we think that way about the Church? I heard one well known Church official make the following statement: "I really don't care if the Church meets my needs or not, because it's not about me." Woah! That really got me thinking.

I would venture to say that most Americans don't see life that way. We somehow expect the government to meet our needs and solve our problems. And thats where you will find every politician running for office. They cultivate the ground of unmet needs whether those needs are legitmate or not.

So here's what I want to challenge you with: When you have a need or an expectation, bring it before God first. Ask yourself: Who is responsible for addressing this need? Is this a need that really needs to be met? How can I go about meeting this particular need in a legitimate way? How can I do what Jesus taught in Matthew 6:33, "Seek first the Kingdom of God and its righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well."

This probably doesn't come as a surprise to you, but I have a hunch that things don't turn out very well when live with a 'me' first mentality. I'm not the hand of my own providence and niether is anyone else. When you think about it, there is no limit to the runaway demands and endless expectations we place on other people. And at some point, it just never works out.

Which leads me to a prediction: Nationalized health care will never work out as we would like. Great idea, maybe....But will it work...probably not. I think nationalized pet care has a better chance of succeeding! That's why I'm voting for Hillary to receive "Veternarian of the year" honors!

(I realize that this blog entry may touch a nerve with some of you, that's why it is a blog entry, so feel free to blow off some steam and share your point of view!)

Love affair gone bad

I grew up in a coffee drinking family. Ever since I can remember a pot of coffee brewed early in the morning and was gone by noon. I can remember drinking that coffee at an early age. For me, it was almost an immediate love affair. Everything about it was attractive. The aroma, the taste, and yes even the jolting affect. I can remember putting 2 teaspoons of sugar in one cup of coffee, YUM! I was so wired up on caffine and sugar, you'll never know.

My love affair with coffee continued through high school and college. In fact, during my college years I was introduced to flavored coffee, Mmmm! (this was before I knew about espresso.) Soon I didn't want anything to do with regular coffee, the flavored beans were far superior. Not long after flavored coffee exploded on the scene, specialty coffee shops began springing up all over the place. In fact, my wife and I began our love affair at a coffee shop in Kansas City. We went out for coffee at a German shop on our fist date. How ironic! I'm in love with my date and my drink... Could anything be better?

I've been around a few Pastors in my day, enough of them to know that they prefer coffee over any other drink. It must be the caffine or maybe the sobering smell. Who knows? Whatever the case, I came to realize that I had become a coffee addict. I worshiped at the altar of Jehova Java! I simply couldn't begin the day without my adored fix of caffine.

All was going well in this love affair until body began to revolt. My lover was letting me down. Drinking strong brews of coffee were beginning to wear down my urinary tract and disrupt my sleep. After a series of visits to the Doctor, I came to realize this love affair had to end. At least the caffinated portion of it. In 2005 I quit drinking caffinated coffee during a 40 day fast. The first 2 weeks without my beloved fix of caffine, were miserable. Oh, how I missed my beloved java and longed for her embrace. But I remained committed to let her go.

By now, you're probably having a good belly laugh! Go ahead, I really don't care. For a while, I thought I was the only idiot negatively affected by coffee. It sure doesn't seem to affect 30 Million or so a day who frequent Starbucks. Or does it? I did some research on the internet and quickly discovered that I am not alone. I found that scores of men my age were facing the same issue. Our caffinated culture is quietly wreaking serious havoc on our health and most of us don't even know it. Perhaps because we're smitten with love. And maybe for you, it's not coffee, it's Mountain dew, or Rockstar energy drinks. Whatever the case, you might be one of the lucky ones and escape the adverse affects of caffine. Unfortunately, I was not.

Today, my coffee drinking is strictly limited Decaf! In fact, I rarely drink a caffinated beverage of any sort. Frankly, my body just can't take it. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of mornings I wake up and long for the fresh aroma of brewed coffee. And yes, there are many times, I wish I had the jolt of an espresso. But at what price?

Quit honestly, I have never shared this before and wonder how some of you might respond. Dont' get me wrong, I'm not dogmatic about this or anything. Coffee is a wonderful drink, an I'm not against her. And besides, what works for me, might not work for you. So I hope you don't think I'm obsessed or on a soap box. If drinking coffee doesn't bother you, then great! As for me, I am reminded of a verse from I Corinthians 6:19 where Paul says, "do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit?" It just so happens that this temple has to be caffine free!

Comments? Questions? Go for it!

Operation Fish rescue

Last week, my family and I camped in Cougar, WA on Yale resivoir. We took a hike along cougar creek, known best for it's pristine spawning grounds. As we walked the narrowing creek bed, we came to a fork that was nearly dried up from low water levels that are expected this time of year. A closer look revealed Salmon smolt trapped in this small puddle of water; soon to dry up. Along with the smolt were nymphs and a couple walleye finglerlings. To put it mildly this small puddle of water was crawling with life. But very soon this life would suffer the invetible-death. As the hot dry days of summer wear on, portions of the river dry up leaving behind a parched river bed that awaits the return of rain in the Fall. My kids immediately took up the cause of rescuing the Salmon smolt. So we emptied our water bottle and began trapping fish. And one by one, we rescued all nine. Each were transplanted to the flowing part of the creek where once again they would have a chance at life.

As I thought about rescuing the fish, I began to think about how Jesus rescues us. Jesus said, in Luke 19:10 "The Son of man came to seek and save the lost." So when you think about it, you and I are being sought out and rescued by someone who loves us. And that someone is Jesus. He does for us what we did for those fish in Cougar creek. He rescues. And without him coming to rescue us we would die an inevitable death.

Rescuing the fish was a rewarding experience. After we rescued the fish I began talking to my kids about how Jesus rescues us. I shared with them Luke 19:10. And I think we all walked away with a deeper appreciation of who Jesus is and what he came to do.

Water in the desert

On our recent trip to Yellowstone, I was taken back by the amount of water the wells up from underground into the dry desert-like landscape. Many of them Hot Springs. You find them by the dozens throughout the park. Some are terribly accessible while others are well hidden treasures. Seeing the water flow reminded me of a passage of scripture from the book of Isaiah that I've been meditating on lately. Isaiah 41: 17-20 says this:

"The poor and needy search for water,

but there is none; their tongues are parched with thirst.

But I the LORD will answer them;

I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.
I will make rivers flow on barren heights, and springs within the valleys.

I will turn the desert into pools of water,

and the parched ground into springs.
I will put in the desert the cedar and the acacia, the myrtle and the olive.

I will set pines in the wasteland, the fir and the cypress together,
so that people may see and know, may consider and understand,

that the hand of the LORD has done this,

that the Holy One of Israel has created it"

In this passage God makes a promise to His people; He will not let them go thirsty. In fact, he promises them an abundance of water in their time of need. God says, "I will turn the desert into pools of water." When I read that I think of the water flowing out of the ground in Yellowstone. (The picture above is of an actual Hot Spring in Yellowstone). Even the earliest accounts of Yellowstone depict the flow of water springing up from underground. The supply of water has never ceased, it runs constant for as long as anyone can remember. And when I think of that, I think of how limitless our God is. He abundantly supplies in ways that we could never imagine. Water in the desert is almost an oxymoron, but is anything too difficult for God? He takes our barreness and causes it to bear fruit, much like he did with Abraham's wife Sarah in the book of Genesis. God also says through Isaiah, "I will put in the desert the cedar, the achia, the myrtle and the olive." Can you imagine that? Several different tree varieties found in the same barren location. Even under the best growing conditions it's difficult to find such variety of vegatation. Only a God could do such a thing. And the good news for you and I is this: He promises to fulfill this promise in our lives. He promises to abundantly supply with limitless resource.

There have been times in my life when I have felt like I have walked through a desert. Even some of the great heroes of the faith have had desert experiences. Moses spent most of his life in the desert. David ran for his life in the wilderness. Even Jesus spent Forty days in the desert and was tempted. I guess I'm trying to say... don't be surprised if you find yourself in the desert. Many have gone before you and many will follow. And if thats where you find yourself today, then maybe you can benefit from these golden promises found in Isaiah. I know I have.

Drink it up,

Bob